Frustration

I was almost in tears after tonight’s class. Not good. Really not good when I felt the same after last Thursday’s class.

I’m so frustrated. I feel like I haven’t learned anything in the past several weapons classes. Like I’m not making progress, or worse – going backwards. We’ve been doing weapons almost a year, and I cannot believe how slowly I’m learning! Maybe my brain has built a brick wall and it’s not going to let any more kata slip through. Who knows.

But if I’m not learning anything, what’s the point? Why bother to go to class? For all the learning I’m doing, I might as well stay at home and practice by myself. The results would be about the same, but maybe with less frustration.

I hate this feeling! I’m going to be grumpy and unpleasant a bit longer. I’ll wonder why I’m trying to learn karate, whether I should give up on weapons, whether I’d hate myself if I didn’t keep working at it. And I expect that, like after last Thursday’s Kenpo class, I’ll eventually realize I did something right or learned something tonight. And I’ll shut up, change my attitude, and get back to it for the next class.

The ups and downs of being a student. *sigh*

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4 thoughts on “Frustration

  1. Hi! I just randomly stumble onto your blog and just wanted to say, keep training and don’t give up! As a female martial artist myself I know how frustrating it can be at times. I haven’t read all your posts but it seems to me you’ve come so far already and that’s already amazing! Keep it up and weapons training will be just as fun and fulfilling! πŸ™‚

  2. I haven’t reached that point in my training, but after watching some students struggle with their Hyung tonight, I know my time is coming. So far, everything has been relatively easy. Keep at it, and you’ll get it soon enough! Don’t beat yourself up.

  3. There will be peaks and troughs and sometimes it can take ages to get new stuff. Sometimes the frustration can go on for what seems like months but you will get it. Just stick at it and don’t be too hard on yourself. Overcoming these road blocks is part of what makes it all worthwhile.

  4. You ladies are just what I needed!! Thank you so much for the encouragement. I’m still a crank-butt today and debating going to black belt class and then weapons at the hombu.I’ll go if I think I can keep my sass to myself. πŸ™‚

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