Tag Archive | Rehab

Let’s Do This!

Let’s Do This!

I just heard the ref on tonight’s MMA fight say that, and I’m sure he was talking to me. OK, he was probably talking to the fighters, but it was applicable to me, too!

I’ve made my decision and I’m going for it – I’ve returned to karate! I now realize questioning my return was due in part to sleep deprivation and also in part due to a mood change because I wasn’t exercising. It’s amazing how those two factors can have such an impact on one’s mental condition.

Slowly, both those issues are being resolved. I’m now able to get more sleep, and that’s making a big difference. I’ve also committed to working out more, both inside and outside the dojo. I’ve noticed the more I work out, the better I feel – both physically and emotionally. The activity is chasing away my mini-depression, and I’m really grateful for that! People around me are probably relieved, since I’m getting back to my usual charming self.  😉

My toe still doesn’t bend much and I lost a lot of cardio conditioning while I was out. But those are just excuses to be overcome, and the only way to do it is to work hard and work often. I’m rewarding myself for every workout that is 30 minutes or more. It’s a silly little thing, but it’s working so I’ll keep doing it.

I know I’ve got a fight ahead of me. My biggest challenge is a stubborn, hard-headed, excuse-filled girl. But I know her well, and I’m pretty sure I can turn the tables on her and use those characteristics to succeed.

Well, wish me luck. Let’s Do This!

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My Crossroad

I’m at a crossroad. One direction is working hard and getting back in shape. The other direction is lethargy, and probably never working out again.

It’s been 8 weeks since I broke my big toe. 8 weeks without working out. 8 weeks of lost conditioning, lost muscle tone, lost reflexes.

CrossroadIn the last week or so I’ve noticed lethargy has set in like a heavy fog, and it scares me. I really feel I’m at the point of a major decision.

Do I get off the couch, work hard, sweat, strain my muscles and fight to get back in shape again?

Or do I stay on the sidelines, making excuses, and let my body settle?

It’s a life-altering decision, and a scary one. The choice I make now may be the last of its kind. Before now, I would have said it wasn’t even a choice. Of course I’d be back full strength! Of course I’d work as hard as I could, put in the extra effort to make a comeback! Why wouldn’t I?

But now, lethargy has snuck in. All these weeks it’s been quietly feeding on my frustration and lack of physical fitness, and now it’s attacking my mental fitness.

I’m tired. Seems like I’m always tired. I’m busy. But I’m always busy. There are a million excuses I can use to sit back and let lethargy take over. The question is, will I do it? Will I just take my black belt and melt back into the couch? Well? Will I?

The struggle is harder than I could have imagined! If I don’t go back to karate, I’ll have lots of free time. If I do return to karate, a battle awaits me. So in my head, I’m struggling with the decision, yet still marveling that I could even think about not going back.

Inertia is a powerful force. I know the longer I “wait” to be in good enough shape to workout, the harder it will be to get started. Rationally, I know the benefits to returning far outweigh the benefits of continuing to sit on the sidelines. Rationally.

Emotionally, I waffle on whether I can do it or not. Do I have the will to make it happen? Do I have the mental strength to fight myself, to drive myself, to endure the struggles of making a comeback?

There’s my crossroad. Which way do I go?

Realizing I’m Not Superwoman

It’s a hard realization to come to – that I’m not Superwoman after all.

All these years I thought I was tough. That I could do anything, push through any injury by sheer force of will. Mind over muscle, so to speak.

And then I broke my toe. Not just any toe, but the big toe on my right foot. And not just broke, but BROKE. As in “snapped sideways, busted open, looking like it got caught in a lawnmower, requiring surgery and a pin to set it properly” broken.

Broken toe set with a pin

Believe it or not, I didn’t request the pink bandage – the nurse chose it. It’s perfect!

It didn’t really hurt when I broke it, and it didn’t hurt much after the surgery. Superwoman doesn’t feel pain, right? So I didn’t think too much of trying to work out less than 2 weeks after my surgery, even though I was still in a boot with a big bandage protecting the stitch and protruding pin. 

I took the boot off and hobbled around a bit. I settled into a kiba dachi to do basics with the class. I even used a yoga mat so my feet wouldn’t slip! I twirled my new bo around; the temptation was just too much for me to pass up. I did maybe half of the 90 minute class. I was a little sore when I finished, but I had a broken toe so I wasn’t surprised.

And then… Then I discovered I’m not Superwoman, and what a disappointment that was! Much to my irritation, the next afternoon my foot and ankle puffed up and the pain kicked in. I spent the weekend on the couch watching movies and drooling from painkillers. Talk about a wake-up call.

It was difficult, but I had to come to terms with a few things:

1) I had a serious injury and I needed to heal before I worked out again.

2) Sometimes mind over muscle fails. That Bible verse, “The spirit is willing, but the body is weak” is sometimes true, whether you like it or not.

3) And the worst realization of all…I’m really NOT Superwoman, darn it!

Honestly, I didn’t like any of those revelations, but there they were and I couldn’t ignore them. I’m not a superhero, and I had to heal. It was back to the sidelines for me. I still attended classes, but instead of working out I watched or helped teach.

Yesterday, almost 5 weeks post-surgery I did another Superwoman check because, of course, I’m still not convinced she doesn’t live in me somewhere. This time I went slower, with the memory of last time’s pain and some monitoring by my instructor to keep me in check. I did a very modified workout. Stretching and crunches, basics in a standing position, a little bit of “tai chi” self defense, and some no-step weapons kata.

Mentally it made me feel like Superwoman. Physically, I didn’t have her power and speed, but I did OK and I made it through today with minimal pain. I’m now lounging on the couch, but this time no drooling, no ice pack, no hydrocodone. I’m calling that a success!

I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’m not Superwoman. Actually, that’s not true — I’m a work in progress. But if I can’t be her, she can be my role model, right? And while I’m waiting for my toe to heal, I’ll do my best to remember that I have to go at Michele’s pace instead of the pace of a lady in a blue leotard and boots. That’s contrary to my personality, so I expect I’ll need several reminders. But if I behave myself and remember who I am, eventually I’ll be back up to speed and acting like I’m the real Superwoman!